I have been working on this for awhile and decided today was a good day to post it. Thanks for reading, it is my therapy to type the words that are on my mind and in my heart and hope that they might help just one other person. Please share with any parents of Type 1 Diabetics or other Type 1s you might know.
Life is tough. Raising a family to the very best of your ability is tough. Doing a job to the best of your ability while juggling family life is tough. Doing all this while maintaining a chronic illness is tough and some days are a whole lot tougher than others.
So, when life gets really tough I try to think of how one day it will change. The day that there is a cure for Type 1 Diabetes is close, it really is. I didn’t believe there would ever be a cure until the last two years, and now I do think there will be a cure in my lifetime. The research that is being done, the trials that are being run, there is hope. Until then, my daily regiment does not change. Until then, my explanation to people of the difference between Type 1 Diabetes and Type 2 Diabetes continues with a sting in my heart. Until there is a cure, I will continue to make sure all parents know the warning signs of Type 1 so that their child will never be so sick that there is no turning back (frequent urination, increased liquid intake, moodiness, change in appetite, muscle pain.) And, until there is a cure, I will thank God for my health, my caring family, my patient husband and his great health insurance, for my two miracles who are now 6 and 8. I thank God for informed doctors like Dr. Flesner, Dr. Jelley, all the nurses in my life and for the kind pharmacists at Target. I will thank God for my ability to feel low and high blood sugars. I will continue to thank God for the amazing life I am leading and the strength to get up and do the same thing tomorrow.
When there is a cure my prayers every single day will have more “thank you for the cure” and less “please protect my boys from this terrible disease.” (I did a great amount of research with doctors before we considered having kids, and was reassured because it didn’t run in my family, I was not likely to pass it on, but there is still worry)
When there is a cure I will wear nightgowns!!!! I will wear dresses without my pump in a spandex, terribly uncomfortable belt around my waist. I will be able to get out of bed quickly without unwinding my pump tubing and finding my pump.
When there is a cure I won’t have to try on pants just to see how my pump fits in the pockets.
When there is a cure I will have the unbelievable freedom to go for a walk, jump in for a swim, dance, Jazzercise without a blood sugar test before and after and snack adjustment. I will be able to play and exercise without the constant thought in my head of “What is my blood sugar right now and what do I need to do about it?”
When there is a cure I will be able to carry a smaller purse, or not have to carry a purse at all! I carry extra pump supplies, a glucometer, strips, insulin pin, glucose tabs and at least one granola bar wherever I go. For 23 years my purse has not been a fashion statement or an accessory, but a safety net, a “must have.”
When there is a cure I will be able to have a glass of wine at dinner or have a beer poolside or have a margarita with my sister and not set my alarm to wake up every two hours to make sure my blood sugars aren’t going too high or too low because of the alcohol content in my system.
When there is a cure I can have orange juice with my breakfast without having to take something away from lunch or dinner.
When there is a cure I will have more time with my boys in the morning instead of working pump problems, changing sites, checking blood sugars, being ready for the day with my supplies.
When there is a cure I will eat chocolate without prior proper planning! (moderation is the key to success, so I save my chocolate time for when my Mom makes chocolate sheet cake and will have a few M&Ms when I take my boys to the movies)
When there is a cure I will take Jeff on a fabulous vacation with the amount of money we are not spending on pump supplies, glucometer strips, insulin, doctor’s visits. Plus, traveling between time zones will be 100 times easier when I am not managing insulin and food and activity and sleep!
When there is a cure I won’t have to worry about how the emotions or stress of the day is effecting my blood sugars. The good, the bad, the ugly goes through my blood onto a strip and a meter reads me the result. Then, I deal with it. A few hours later, I do the same thing. Then, a few hours later I check again. Some days more checks, depressed days result in less. Every single day for 23 years, the good, the bad and the ugly and their results. Every single day until there is a cure.